i don't know what things are anymore. i think this is getting really fucked up. i suddenly wonder if coming home was the right thing to do. hah. i'm just going back to my old addiction again. and i swore i would not succumb again. god. what's wrong with me. i don't know what the shit i'm doing. this is not good at all. not good not good not good.

independence, dependence. fuck it.

temptations. i could never resist them.

i feel like a raving lunatic -.- brilliant.

sitting in the car tonight just stoning and thinking and talking was wonderful though.